We’re not even 2 whole months into 2020 and when you thought this year may be less of a trash fire than the previous one, a KFC Crocs appears out of obscurity on your screen and assaults your eyeballs. I’m so sorry! However, if I have to look at these KFC crocs then so are you. FYI, the collaboration was formally announced on Wednesday, and while they’re not out there to buy just yet, they’ll be accessible later this spring, retailing for $59.99 in unisex sizes.
In case you’re curious, yes, the red-and-white soles are supposed to match a fried-chicken bucket, and YES, those are actually drumstick “jibbitz” attached to them that are “chicken-scented.” What exactly is “jibbitz” you ask? They’re those lil ornamental attachments you can insert into the holes of your Crocs for additional flair.
Another horrifying surprising fact is that there’s also a PLATFORM version. Do you hear that? It’s the collective sound of everyone’s jaws dropping in horror once they see you stomping around in these bucket clogs.
“As Crocs continues to create new, unexpected brand collaborations, we’re thrilled with this ‘bucket list’ partnership with Kentucky fried Chicken that will bring fans an unbelievably fun and fashionable take on our classic clog,” said Terence Reilly, Crocs SVP and CMO, in an exceeding press release. Between this announcement and the proven fact that Crocs sales on Amazon were up an informal 12 million percent(??!?!), the brand is absolutely going all-in on its, uh, distinctive marketing.
I am not BS you. This Stuff is for real. It makes me think of a funny scene from Matrix, “I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it.”